I visited a different church today.  I was invited to go to my friend’s baby dedication at the church her & her husband attend and now I’m in a bit of a bind.  I enjoy my church, my church has done a lot for me and I have some wonderful friends but (that word always makes me laugh because you know something is coming when you see but) for quite awhile I’ve felt that something has been missing.  It has felt like I just wasn’t ‘getting’ it anymore, there hasn’t been a stirring in my spirit in a long time…….until this morning!  I can’t even begin to explain what I was feeling this morning.  It was the most amazing thing ever.  I felt spiritually alive for the first time in a gazillion years!  I hung on every word the pastor said, I felt like I fit in (for the first time I didn’t feel like I was being judged for the way I was dressed or how I looked, etc).  It was just weird how much more ‘at home’ I felt in this church when I’ve been in my church since 2001! 

I had a long conversation with my grandma today (she is one of the reasons I’m a Christian today - she spent 26 years praying for me to receive salvation!  26 years!  That’s a long time & she never gave up on me or praying for me!) and she suggested that I visit the church a few more times to see if I like it.  And she even told me that she remembers way back several months ago when I talked to her about not feeling like my church was where I was meant to be anymore.

I shared with my grandma that part of me would feel guilty for leaving the church I’ve known since 2001 but my grandma explained that people change churches all the time now-a-days and as long as I don’t make a hasty decision and pray about things that this could be what God has had in store for me (a new place of worship) because I’ve felt so spiritually dry for awhile. 

I definitely don’t want to make a hasty decision.  I don’t want to make a decision based on my feelings from today.  I want to visit it (the church) a few more times, pray and seek Godly counsel before making a decision! 

Share This

It’s going on week number two with no pop!  That may not seem like a lot to some but when you are addicted to pop, Diet Coke to be specific, like I was this is a HUGE thing! It was nothing for me to buy a case of pop and go through it in three days!!! That works out to be 8 pops a day! YIKES! 

I stop and wonder at what point I went from enjoying a Diet Coke here and there to having to have one to start my day and then several more through out the day.  It makes me wonder the same thing about drinking when I used to have a drinking problem - how did I go from enjoying a beer here and there to suddenly becoming a weekend alcoholic.  And then the same thing for food (are you seeing the pattern here - one addiction after another), how did it go from needing food to survive to suddenly becoming so addicted to food that’s all I find myself thinking about sometimes! 

So now I sit here typing and I’m wondering what’s ‘missing’ in my life that I turn to things such as alcohol, pop and food to fill that void?  I’ve always been told that anytime you have an addiction and turn to that thing(s) that you are ‘missing’ something in your life, that you are using these things to fill that void.  But I can’t seem to find what I’m missing.  I’m a Chirstian and have a personal relationship with God, I have friends that I enjoy spending time with, I have family, I enjoy my job and working from home, I love my son and spending time with him.  So what is it???????  Maybe one of these days I’ll figure it out!

Share This

It’s been a long weekend but fun!  I was able to go with my friend Kelly McCausey down to Lansing and help her move into her new place this past weekend.  It’s been emotional over the past couple week’s finally realizing that she was really going but this weekend helping her move really let it ’sink’ in that she isn’t just a couple blocks away anymore.  Sure a couple hours isn’t that far away but it’s still going to be ‘different’ for me. 

I am in love with her new place!  It’s AWESOME!  In fact I have to admit that I’m jealous…LOL!  Her apartment is so nice and has so many features!  She even has a pool!  Being in the city with her over the weekend made me even more determined to set a goal about moving.  If this is really what I want then I’ve got to get a plan in action instead of just TALKING about it all the time. 

I had plans to move back to the city a couple years ago but God closed the door.  I thought maybe it meant that I wasn’t supposed to ever move but the desire is still there in my heart so it’s possible that God closed the door back then because at that time it wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  I obviously will begin praying about it again and see where God leads me.  I obviously have to stop and think about Caleb also and whether a move would be in his best interest.  I’ve weighed the pro’s and con’s of living in Northern Michigan as well as the pro’s and con’s of living back in the city.  Yes there are pro’s and con’s to both places.  One great thing I don’t have to worry about is a job - working at home gives me the option to take my ‘job’ with me ANYWHERE which is so cool

So we’ll see.  I have my goal (moving back to the city) and now I’ve got to come up with some action plan to get things going.  There are some bills I need to get cleared up and I definitely need to get some money saved.  It’s exciting to think about moving but I’ll just have to wait and see what doors God opens up for me

Share This

Not to often do I post more than once a day but after watching this news breaking story I couldn’t help but post again today. 

There was another school shooting today (it was a college in Virginia) and to think that it’s just a couple days before the Columbine school shooting anniversary!  The death count was 31 and 29 injured.  This is the worst one yet!  I sat watching with tears streaming down my face, how will those students ever feel safe again?  How will they ever be able to go back to classes there?  How will they be able to sleep in their dorms?  And how will they deal with the deaths and injuries of their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and classmates? 

I just don’t understand.  It’s so sad.  And then the shooter took his own life (well they aren’t for sure if he killed himself or if he was shot by someone else yet), another life lost.  There’s so many bad things happening in the world today, the Iraq situation and everything that stemmed from and so much more.  It’s kind of scary to think that I’m raising a child in this world.  It’s days like this that I question the days I dream of getting married and having another baby.  It’s days like this that make me want to never leave the comforts of my own ’safety’ but then I’m reminded of all the rapes, burgarlies and things that happen in the ’safety’ of people’s homes.  So the question is (as my sister said to me) is there anywhere safe anymore? 

The days of keeping your doors unlocked because you felt safe are over, the days of not being afraid to let a ’stranded’ motorist use your phone are over, the days of letting your guard down are over and there are a lot of people out there that don’t have a sense of safety anymore but I believe as a Christian that I have a sense of security and safety in my Lord. 

My heart goes out to the injured ones and especially to the families & friends of the ones that were murdered.  I’ll be keeping this situation lifted up in prayer that’s for sure! 

Share This

I just wanted to mention that this Wednesday, April 18th, those of us in the blogging community are coming together to help offset some financial needs for Heather and her family due to the sudden health issues she is facing.  You can read the full story here on her blog. 

So it’s been a few days since my last post.  My last post was also about Heather and the serious health issues she is facing right now (brain tumor) and what her family has already been through with their daughter Emma (and from what I’ve read and seen in the videos & pics she is a precious, adorable, cute little girl that is a miracle!). 

I don’t mean to continually blog about her but the situation just weighs so heavy on my heart.  It’s weird because I’ve always been a caring and compassionate person and things tend to really affect me but not like Heather’s story.  I can’t put my finger on what it is about her and her family but I’m so drawn to them and their situation.  I feel like praying and giving financially on the 18th isn’t enough……but what more can I do?  I don’t even know them.  I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I am already doing, there isn’t really anything more I can do. 

Share This