Wow it was deep on Moms Morning Show today! This week’s theme is Bitterness & Boundaries: Making & Breaking Relationships in Life & Business. I’ve never been anything but an open book, for the most part anyways. There are things of my past that I don’t make ‘public’ knowledge but on the show this morning my story fit right into the conversation so I made it public knowledge.

Some of you may already know the situation of when Caleb’s dad and I split up way back when (it’s been a long time now!) and what his girlfriend at the time did to me. Some of you may not know and others of you may of just heard about it for the first time on the show today.

The Story Goes…

When Caleb’s dad and I split up and moved out of the house he brought the 17 year old girl he was seeing into the house. Not only was hurt, upset and devastated that my family was splitting up, that I was losing the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with but I now had this immature little highschool girl to deal with. It wasn’t pretty to say the least.

Caleb’s dad used to race stock cars at a local race track where we lived and I was there one Saturday night with my boyfriend at the time and I was talking to Caleb’s dad’s family. I stayed friends with all the family because after being with someone so long it’s hard to let the relationships you built with their family go. Anyways, I was talking to them and everyone always hung out in the pits afterwards so Bruce (the boyfriend at that time) and I headed over there too. I don’t even remember how everything came about but we all ended up being over by Caleb’s dad’s stock car chitting and chatting having a good time and then Amanda and I are standing face to face & she is poking her finger in my face and I’m pushing her hand away from me. The next thing I know she’s raising her hand that has her glass alcohol bottle in it and hitting me in the face. As I’m turning away she’s smashing it in the back of my head now as I fall to the ground, blood running down my face. Bruce had left to go to the bathroom and someone went and got him so he could take me to the hospital emergency room.

What hurt me more than anything that night was the fact that Caleb’s dad, the man I had spent so many years loving and devoting my life and my time to, the man I was going to raise a family with and grow old with, the man I trusted, the man I loved, the man I valued, the man I respected, the man I had given so many areas of my heart and life to, stood by and let her do it! He didn’t step forward and stop her. He stood there watching. He finally grabbed her off me when I fell to the ground.

As I shared on the show today I couldn’t explain how I was feeling in that moment. But all the feelings began coming back - betrayed, rejected, unloved, unworthy, unsafe, just to name a few. After all these years the feelings came back as if it were only yesterday. Have I forgiven? Yes! Does that mean I’ve forgotten? No! Will I ever forget? No and considering I have a nice scar above my right eyebrow and a tender spot, still to this day, on the back of my head I won’t ever forget because those physical things are a daily reminder of what she did to me and what he stood and watched happen. And if him standing there allowing her to do that to me wasn’t bad enough, when he approached me about not pressing charges against her because he didn’t want her to go to jail that was like a bunch in the gut!

Like Kelly said sometimes you have to forgive someone more than once and that was made apparent this morning when everything came rushing back to me. It’s funny that you think you’ve dealt with something, forgiven someone and moved on but then the emotions come back and the situation seems so ‘real’ again.

Wow! what a deep show today and for the rest of the week it’s going to be like this because we will carry the theme through the rest of the week.

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I’ve found a really great website, thanks to Tammy ;-), called Married to the Army and to say that I’m learning lots is an understatement! I love the site! It’s put together well, easy to navigate and easy to understand. There’s even a tab on the site called Army 101, exactly what I needed!

Did you know the Army has their own set of ABC’s?  What about the seven core values are? What about telling time their way? And my all time favorite is the acronyms!  There are tons of acronyms but at least now I can ‘decipher’ some things.

Another thing, and definitely the most important, I’ve learned is that there are a lot of things that can’t be talked about because of OPSEC (Operational Security). Which I mean common sense tells me that I can’t talk about a lot of things, and it’s easier to not talk about things because there is a lot of things he can’t tell me anyways. But the simplest things that I’ve posted about, as innocent as they have been, from what I’ve read are things I shouldn’t be talking about.

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It’s been a loooong week! Lot’s of late nights, being sick and a super rough weekend with Caleb! Ok super rough doesn’t even begin to touch on how bad of a week I had with Caleb. But I suppose that comes with the parenting territory. Right?

Caleb’s dad just picked him up and I’m sitting here listening to…NOTHING. Not a sound. My normal every day fighting LOUD neighbors are even being quiet. LOL I’m loving the sound of nothing.

I’m planning on enjoying a nice relaxing quiet weekend. I’m going to catch up on some much needed sleep, nurse this ‘crud’ that I have (I took meds this morning & went back to bed for awhile & seem to be feeling pretty good right now), lay around indulging in way too much TV for my brain and hopefully even get to talk to Seth

No going out this weekend for me. I’m ‘grounding’ myself to my apartment. I honestly need to just ‘nurse’ myself this weekend and start feeling better. And I suppose that means that over all I need to start taking better care of myself - trying to sleep on a regular basis would be a start, eating on a regular basis would probably be another good thing. Yea yea yea.

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Feb 14, 2008
BY USPS Public Affairs
WASHINGTON (Army News Service, Feb. 14, 2008) -

The U.S. Postal Service will begin offering a discount Priority Mail rate March 3 and a larger box for care packages sent to military members overseas.

The new flat-rate box is 50 percent larger than the current Priority Mail package and it will be delivered for $10.95 to an APO/FPO address — $2 less than for domestic destinations.

“This is the first time the Postal Service has offered a special price for our armed forces serving overseas,” said Postmaster General John Potter. “We’re proud that family and friends will be able to use this new larger-sized box to send much appreciated packages from home to our dedicated troops overseas.”

The new Priority Mail Large Flat-Rate Box (12″ x 12″ x 5 inches or 800 cubic inches) will be available in Post Offices nationwide beginning March 3, but customers can begin ordering them Feb. 20 at usps.com/supplies or by calling 800-610-8734. Some of the new boxes are co-branded with the logo of America Supports You, which is a Department of Defense program that connects citizens offering support to the military and their families.

“It’s terrific that the Postal Service continues to think of ways to help Americans support our troops and their families. Postage is always a concern when shipping care packages, and this new flat-rate box means our home front groups and supportive citizens can do more with their resources,” said Allison Barber, deputy assistant secretary of Defense.
“We’re especially pleased that some of the boxes will bear the ‘America Supports You’ logo reminding our service members that they have our nation’s support”

The $2 discount is applied when the Priority Mail Large Flat-Rate Boxes are shipped to an APO/FPO destination. The two existing flat-rate boxes (11 x 3 x 13 inches and 11 x 8 X 5 inches), which currently retail for $8.95 for U.S. addresses, are not available for the military discount, postal officials said. They said all flat-rate boxes can still be used for international shipping.

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Thank you to everyone that took the time to send me birthday wishes. I got an ecard (thanks Annette Yen!), a picture of a chocolate birthday cake that said Happy Birthday Tishia (thanks Tammy Munson!), a night in the conference room with special Happy Birthday videos from Chrys Unrau, the awesome DJ abilities of our DJ expert, Shannon Smith (thanks Shannon!) and thanks to everyone that wished me Twitter Birthday wishes and for those of you that took the time to join us in the conference room last night to join in the festivities. Plus I got a ton of birthday wishes from my friends on MySpace too.

I started out in a grumpy mood yesterday (ask my son he’ll gladly inform you! LOL), I’m sure lack of sleep and not feeling good were partially to blame, but by the end of Mom’s Morning Show I was feeling much better and in a slap happy mood. You know those moods where you are so tired that you find everything funny. Yea it was one of those days after that!

My friend Angel called and wanted to take me out to lunch so we headed to my favorite Mexican place, La Senioreta where I enjoyed a great taco salad with steak on it instead of the ‘normal’ hamburger. Angel didn’t spare me the embarrassment of having the waiters/waitresses sing to me because she just had to mention to our waitress it was my birthday. Along with the singing came a wonderful piece of peanut butter pie with a candle. We shared the pie and it was super duper YUMMY! Definitely not a part of my healthy eating lifestyle but hey I needed some ‘junk’ and it had chocolate sauce on it so that cured the chocolate craving

Ok as if that wasn’t enough calories she took me to Starbucks (oh yea I totally forgot to mention the really cute coffee mug she got me from there and the $10 gift card for there) where I tried this Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino® Blended Crème. Oh my gosh! Wow! Those are about the only words that I can use to describe it! Seriously it was divine.

Out of curiousity I went to www.starbucks.com to check out the nutrition information, umm yea might I recommend that if you are going to drink something from Starbucks that you don’t check out the nutrition info!!!! I about died! Check this out:

Tall Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino:
Calories 380
Fat Calories 120
Fat 14g
Carbohydrates 59g

YIKES! That’s some serious calories, fat & carbs for one drink! Guess that explains why it was so darn good And I don’t even want to think about the calories I consumed eating a half of a piece of peanut butter pie. No thanks! Just don’t want to even know. LOL

But I’m right back on track today. I don’t have any time to be falling off the wagon and not picking myself right back up. I’m on a mission to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain amount of time and I’m going to do it!

So again thank you to everyone that made my day special There’s only one thing that would of made it even better and I’m sure without even mentioning his name you can all figure out that it would of been even better if I could of talked to Seth. LOL. Sorry sorry I couldn’t help but mention his name

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