I Have To Do What?
Jul 17
My counseling appointment (yesterday) was…well interesting. We dug into things talked about last week, going a little deeper in conversation. I’m not sure how we got on the subject of my ummm well ‘quirks’ I’ll call them. My counselor had a couple different terms – control freak and obsessive compulsive. Moi? I don’t think so. Ok so maybe I am a control freak. I’ll admit it. You can’t change what you don’t admit right? Yeah that’s what I was afraid of.
What quirks am I talking about?
You know my annoyance with bread crumbs in the butter? My paranoia about my place not being totally clean at all times? My anal cool way of having my laundry folded (all towels are folded in 3′s as well as washcloths). And of course there’s the clothes that have to be hung in the closet a certain way and toilet paper on the holder the right way a certain way, etc.
Yeah all those quirks.
You Mean The Problem Is Me?
Imagine my surprise when my counselor suggested that those things needed to be changed! What? No. Way. Absolutely not. People just need to learn to accept my quirks. Too bad my counselor didn’t see it my way! It was actually pretty rough hearing that I NEED to change instead of expecting those around me to just deal with my anal ways! I’m pretty sure I had a minor panic attack when it was suggested that I face these issues. Sweaty palms, racing heart, light headed. I was told I need to desensitize myself. Yeah it sounded pretty foreign to me too.
You Want Me To Do What?
Basically all that means is that I have to actually let my house get dirty. Not an all out pig sty dirty but I have to let Caleb be a kid. When he gets toys out instead of going behind him and picking everything up or harping asking him to pick stuff up I have to let him leave things out.
As if that wasn’t bad enough I also have to learn to allow Caleb to help fold laundry again and hang his clothes. Now you might be thinking that’s not such a bad thing but when you are anal cool like I am it’s an issue. In the past I’ve just done all that myself because Caleb doesn’t do it how I want him to. I have to stand back, open his closet, look at everything and say thank you Caleb that was such a big help to mommy and leave it at that. I’m not allowed to frantically rearrange everything to my way (short sleeves hung together, long sleeves hung together, etc).
The real kicker was the bread crumbs in the butter though! I can’t say a word about it anymore. I just have to deal with it. I have to simply get a knife, scrape the crumbs out and use the butter. That grosses me out. I hate crumbs in my butter.
I know it sounds silly but I really do have a problem with letting go of having this control. It’s a major thing for me to step back and let go of the things I’ve had control over for so long. This should be interesting. Very. Interesting.
I know it will be hard, but it wil be good for you. I use to be so anal about folding laundry and the whole clothes thing too, and I still only allow ME to clean the bathrooms, but I let the clothes thing go because I got tired of doing the laundry all by myself.
It was actually very liberating letting my husband clean, fold, and put away the clothes. We definitely get a lot more done around here now.
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Love your new look, Tishia! I don’t think your quirks are all that bad but if it’s affecting your relationship with Caleb then it’s worth the effort to change.
And if you could pass some of that neatness my way, I’ll grab it up
Christina’s last blog post..Crafty But Not Creative
I don’t see what is wrong with a clean house but if it’s bothering you then that is when it turns into something bad. I never used to have that “tugging” feeling when something was out of place until I became a parent and the house was always messy. Now it bugs me like crazy but I dont have the time to keep it spic and span all of the time…just most LOL I know I get that OCD from my Mom when it comes to the house. I’m proud of you for your therapy and working through things.
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Tishia,
I know that control issue well. I struggle with but I can say that when you do release the control it is freeing.
Praying for you!
LaTara’s last blog post..Wise Crafty Momma Am I
LOOOOVE this theme! Very you, very cute!
You’ll be able to relax more when you learn to let things go. You won’t feel so stressed out all the time thinking “I gotta clean my house, I gotta do the laundry, I gotta get new butter out (that one cracks me up!) I gotta turn the toilet paper around, AND yell at whomever put it on the wrong way…etc. Just let it go, and let it be. You will feel much more relaxed. I learned to! Now my house is pretty much a mess most of the time, and I still growl about it now and then, but usually I don’t care (unless someone is coming over.) I can focus on work more now (getting my VA business off the ground)which I Looooove to do. Plus when my family wants me to go to the beach or play a game, I feel like I can more often because I’m not stressing if the house is clean or not. Trust me, you’ll like the reduction in stress you’ll feel when you start to let some things go!
I love you Tishia!
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Oh Tishia, I love this theme! Great choice (but I’m sure you’ll change it again, how about a new one every month? LOL). Anyway, I know these changes are going to be a challenge but I think you’ll feel so much better once you ‘let go’ of some of this stuff. As for the butter, keep the crumb one for Caleb and you can get yourself the spray butter. That should solve your bread crumb problem *hee hee*
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Unfortunately, I’m pretty much the opposite, Tishia.
I’m just not well enough to keep up with the house cleaning, and it’s a real mess.
However I’m such a perfectionist, and from reading about your session, though, I can see that most of the mess is because I hate not being able to do things properly.
Sounds weird, but it’s like a part of me rebels and thinks that if I can’t do something really well then I’ll be d*mned if I’ll do any of it.
I never saw that before. But any time the house *is* nicely tidy, it’s because I’ve exhausted myself cleaning and am bedridden for days afterwards.
Thanks for the insight into my own thinking, I’ll let you know how I go with rebelling against my inner rebel…
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I’m laughing so hard over here, but at the same time feeling so much sympathy for you. Let me know how that goes. LOL
Especially the butter thing, that so freaking cracked me up you will never know. Ha!
My friend is OCD like that too. When we’re over there, she goes around picking up after Andrew. I swear he can’t leave something on the floor long enough to pee, and it’s been picked up and put away. It stresses me out. LOL