Not Liking My Melancholy Personality Today
Sometimes I really hate being melancholy. I tend to take things personally when they aren’t intended to be ‘personal’. My feelings get hurt easily which usually ends with me crying. And sometimes I hate that I can’t ‘hide’ when something is wrong with me…like this morning on Mom’s Morning Show. I tried to participate in the conversation but I haven’t been able to think about anything other than the events of Friday night and what I saw. It really did a number on me. Unfortunately because I can’t think about anything other than that I wasn’t a real great crew member this morning. Kelly gave me the rest of the morning off. Kind of embarrassing being ‘booted’ off the show while live but it truly was a good thing. I wasn’t participating unless it was a one word answer. Kelly asked if I wanted to talk about it…nope. Especially not on the air.
I’m exhausted from not getting any sleep, well very limited sleep. I did manage to get a couple hours over the last couple nights, which doesn’t help the situation at all. I hated admitting that I needed to talk to someone professional, there’s just something about the fact that I can’t handle my emotions/feelings about all this on my own that bugs me. I hate asking for help, it makes me feel like a failure, so calling the local Community Mental Health Agency this morning was hard. I’m waiting for a call back to set up an appointment. I’m not looking forward to it but if I ever plan on regaining my sanity and getting my emotions/feelings under control I need help. Because blogging just isn’t as therapeutic as I once thought it was, at least not for something of this magnitude.
Don’t feel like a failure. What you experienced was a VERY traumatic event and I know if I had witnessed something like that I would need to talk to someone professional. A lot of people don’t know what you are experiencing because they have never seen anything like that before.
I will keep you and the family in my prayers. I do pray that the little girl, and that entire family gets help too.
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Oh Tishia! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know any of this and would not have been teasing if I had known what you had just been through. I can’t imagine how heart-wrenching this whole ordeal is for you. I’m sure you are still in shock and I’m glad you are going to be able to talk to someone who will be able to help you go through the healing process. {{{Hugs}}}
Hey Tishia,
It’s okay to ask for help, especially since you’ve been through something so traumatic. I can’t imagine.
I’ll be praying for you!
Love you!
Mary
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I can’t imagine NOT talking to a professional after what you experienced! Please don’t feel like a failure…your son needs you happy and mentally healthy. Take whatever steps you need to get past this.
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Just wanted to stop by and tell you I’m thinking about you and praying for you. I’ve kind of been off the chart the last week or so, and I had no idea about what had happened. (I haven’t even been on Twitter in something like two weeks!)
Anyway, I’m catching up with blog reading and such just now. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I’m praying for you, and you know where to find me if you need anything.
Love ya!
Shannon
I don’t know what you witnessed (I’m still working back through your blog to catch up) but I can tell you there is NOTHING wrong with getting help! My Mom has been in therapy for over 2 years now and I do see the benefit in professional help. HUGS.
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