Tishia Lee

I was so excited to be able to have a couple days of IM conversations with Seth. I wish it could of been longer because I really need him right now but he’s supporting me and helping me through everything even way over there and that’s a huge thing to me. It’s important to know that even though he’s in the midst of the war and worrying about himself and the soldiers he is in charge of that he still is here to support me and help me. He’s given out some tough ‘love’ so to say and although I know he’s right in the decisions that have been made I’m still mad at him. And the phrase I’m mad at you makes me giggle because of a lengthy conversation we had the other night and I don’t expect it to make sense to you. LOL And Seth if you read this, I’m still mad at you

He wrote me another poem and in case you missed the first one you can check it out here. I guess I should probably ask him if it bothers him that I post this stuff. I hope it doesn’t because it’s just too hard not to share when he does something so sweet. I said it the last time he wrote me a poem and I’ll say it again - I’ve never had a man doing anything like this (or even remotely close to something like it) so it just blows my mind that he does it for me. So here it is.

The clouds slowly move
Unblocking my vision
Of the full, blue moon
Allowing me to see the stars
That I continue to wish upon

I hope tonight you are safe and sound
I hope that you’re able to find the sleep
That you so desperately deserve

I often wonder, if at times
You forget someone over here
Misses you and keeps you in their prayers

I wish there was some way
To hold you in my arms
That I could look into your eyes
And let your worries disappear

There isn’t much I can do for you
Being way over here
Not much I can change

I sometimes lose sleep over thoughts of you
The blankets that once surrounded me
In their warmth
Are now in a mess on the floor
I wish you were here to take their place

I look up towards the sky
And let the wind take my words
Through the miles

It makes me all teary eyed just reading it again. And of course when my man has a way with words like he does, it definitely makes it hard to stay mad at him LOL

or should that say things that crawl in the middle of the night?

Snakes

I hate spiders with a passion! They rank right up there on my list with snakes and I’m petrified of snakes…so petrified that a little garter (also known as garden or gardner snake) snake crawling a couple feet in front of me sent me screaming like a banshee and running for my life! And I also have to mention that just looking at the images of snakes gave me goosebumps and chills! But I couldn’t post this without providing a picture of the pesky slithery thing that sent me running for dear life. The things I do for the whole lot 2 of you that read this, I swear!

Anyways snakes isn’t what I was referring to when I said things that crawl in the middle of the night. I was referring to spiders!

Spiders

One of the things I don’t like about my apartment is that when it warms up not only do the ants come out in but so do those nasty hairy creepy crawly spiders! I don’t know who screams more girly when a spider makes it presence known - me or Caleb! I know the situation is pretty chaotic and ends with me screaming, Caleb screaming, me watching the spider as Caleb runs for a shoe (I have to watch it to make sure it doesn’t get away!) and then me starting to sweat bullets fearing the thing will jump at me while in the process of aiming the shoe at it for a good squishing! Yes it really isn’t a great moment in my household when one of these babies rears its ugly head!

Anyways…last night I woke up because I felt something crawling on my leg. Or I thought I felt something crawling on my leg. I jumped out of bed probably faster than I’ve ever moved in my life, flipped on the light switch and searched my bed only to find nothing! (Sidenote: as a result of trying to get out of bed so quickly I slammed my leg into my little end table, bedside table - whatever you wanna call it - that has a not so smooth corner & now have a nice bruise thanks to that little run in)

I crawled back into bed but sleep didn’t come anytime soon. I couldn’t get rid of that creepy crawly feeling on my skin. Eventually I fell back asleep and woke this morning to a nice big red welt type thing on my lower leg. I pulled back my covers and low and behold there lay a nice sized spider. It was already dead thank God but it still didn’t stop me from crying out in that girly yelp I have!

Just what I didn’t need to find in my bed! Now I’ve got the heebie jeebies just thinking about crawling into bed. Not to mention the fact that I already have issues of being afraid of the dark so now this will just add to my whole hating the dark! No image to share with you for the spider because I have no clue what kind it is and I wouldn’t want you to laugh at me if you saw how ‘big’ my ‘nice sized’ spider was. LOL The picture I do have up there is of a daddy long leg spider - now those I can handle.

Earlier today I was at Wal-Mart with a friend. We split up to do our shopping and planned on meeting at the Subway at the front of the store in an hour. I didn’t have many things to pick up so it didn’t take me long. I grabbed a salad at Subway and sat down to wait until my friend was done.

The coolest thing happened and it actually shocked me. I was given the sweetest compliment by someone of the other sex. What made it the greatest compliment ever was the fact that it was from a stranger and he wasn’t a man or even a guy…he was a boy! I’m guessing he was either 8 or 9 - looked to be about Caleb’s age or a little younger.

I saw him come in with his mom and they sat in the booth in front of me. The little boy sat on the side of the booth facing towards me and she sat with her back to me. I noticed that he kept looking at me so I smiled at him. The mom told her son to stop staring it wasn’t nice. The little boy said but mommy she’s so pretty.

At first I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly but then the mother turned around and said I don’t know if you heard that or not but my son thinks you are so pretty. LOL She introduced herself, her son (get this - his name is also Caleb!!!!) and we ended up chatting for quite awhile, until my friend was done with her shopping and came in & told me she was ready.

I was amazed and shocked that this little boy spoke those words. It really touched my heart and kind of made my day…LMAO! It’s nice when a man or a guy compliments you but to have a young man, a little boy speak those words the term compliment takes on a whole different meaning. I’m still kind of smiling thinking about it.

And what’s even cooler, the mom and I exchanged phone numbers and we are going to get our Caleb’s together to play! How cool is that?

I’d like to say that I did something extremely extraordinaire with myself to ’stand out’ but all I did was my hair & make-up and had something other than lounge clothes on but for whatever reason that little boy thought I was pretty and it truly was the greatest compliment!

Ok I’m a total D-O-R-K dork! I mean a bonafied (I did a Google search on this word & it led me to Urban Dictionary and of the 3 definitions I had to go with the 1st one - like none other, not copied - because the other 2 certainly weren’t what I was looking for but they gave me a good laugh) full fledge dork. But I’m ok with that, at least I admit it openly right? Are you curious yet about what the title has to do with the above reference to me being a dork?

This is how anxious, excited, nervous and eagerly awaiting the day I get a phone call from Seth…

My phone rang this morning & on my caller id the word INTERNATIONAL came up. OMG my heart started racing (scratch that - I think it stopped beating for a second!), my palms were sweating and I couldn’t answer quick enough.

Nothing like crashing back down to reality with the word hello. Funny thing is I knew it wouldn’t be him, I know I won’t get a phone call anytime soon but it’s funny how one word turned me into a sweating, heart racing, hand shaking giggly girl. All that even though I KNEW it wouldn’t be him.

My dork moment?

Well it’s because of all I mentioned (heart racing…blah blah blah) but the biggest thing is because I was expecting a phone call from Kelly for some training she needed to give me on a project I’ll be doing for her. So I knew her call would be coming in but I still allowed myself to delusion when I saw that word International. (sorry Kelly hope this doesn’t sound like I wasn’t happy to talk to you…lol)

Yeah like I said, I really am a D-O-R-K dork! But thank God it wasn’t him. I mean I probably would of fainted or something dorkish like that. I’m afraid to think how I’ll turn into this little giggly girly girl when I finally do get that call. Oh man I don’t even want to think about that.

When that call from Iraq (if he gets a chance to call while over there) does come in…

My reaction is going to be a Kodak moment (good thing I don’t have a digital camera anymore!)…it will look something like this.

I didn’t sleep last night. Nothing new you are probably thinking considering my track record with this sleep thing. But I’ve been doing really good about sticking to my new schedule and putting myself to bed at 11pm every night so I have finally started, after all these years, getting some sleep. Last night I had lots on my mind and I couldn’t just ‘flip the switch’ and turn my thoughts off no matter how hard I tried! I found myself still wide awake (staring at the ceiling, the wall or the neon light from my alarm clock depending on which way I was laying) at 2:16am.

I had Seth on my mind, nothing unusual right? It’s been almost 2 weeks with no communication and I know I’ll hear from him as soon as he is able. This is the longest we’ve went without communicating and I’m adjusting to it. I know this is how things have to be and how things will be. And actually I’m doing really good, or I was until last night when I laid there wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he was safe, if he was getting any rest and a gazillion other things.

Anyways the whole point of this post is really nothing other than the fact that I’m tired, I’m feeling under the weather once again (what the heck is up with being sick so frequently????), and I really miss Seth. You’d laugh at me if you saw how much of a crazy woman I am when I hear the ding of Google chat or when I see the little yahoo messenger thing on the bottom of my screen showing that someone else is signing in. My heart races a little faster, I get butterflies in my stomach and then everything goes crashing back to normal as soon as I realize it’s not him messaging me through Google chat (and why would I think it would be now that we’ve ‘upgraded’ our conversations to yahoo messenger…LOL) or that it wasn’t him signing into yahoo.

This morning I spent about 20 minutes going back through some of our emails (yes I save all this stuff!) and just re-read everything. It would take me quite awhile to go through all of them so I only allowed myself a short period of time or else I’d get caught up in that and not focus for the day. Those 20 minutes did me wonders. I smiled, laughed and cried as I sat reading these emails. And I had to read the poem he wrote me too because that always makes me smile! And now I sit here smiling as I type this as the words he always says to me run through my head, “I’ll be ok don’t worry”.